Songs That Saved Your Life

David Frizzell - “I’m Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home” (4.64MB mp3 file)

Okay, I know I’ve already written quite a few things about my Southern upbringing, but once in a while I’ll recall a vivid memory from my childhood and immediately wonder how/why I’m not barefoot, wearing bib overalls and a straw hat and chewing on a piece of hay right now (the South is like my family — I’m allowed to make fun of it and you’re not, heh), like a “Hee Haw” extra. This is one such time.

Every so often I’ll get a part of a tune in my head, and will have to stop for a minute and think, “Wait, is that a real song?” and then consult the Internet for details. Remnants of this song have breezed in and out of my head for a while now, sometimes staying dormant for several years at a time before resurfacing. Just this past weekend it came back, bringing with it a clear memory of my mom playing this record on the stereo in the big scary (refinished, yet still scary) basement of my stepdad’s house that we had recently moved into. (I had either just turned — or was about to turn — 5.) My parents loved this song (especially my mom — she probably still does), and you need to keep in mind that I’m talking about parents here, which means irony doesn’t even enter into the equation. They just wholly and completely love(d?) this song, full stop. I remember my mom talking about how great this guy’s voice was, really laying the praise on thick. I would hear this song quite a bit in the following years, until I was just old enough to know that I was supposed to roll my eyes and scoff at whatever my parents liked, regardless of merit (if any).

So when this song crept back into my head this weekend after a years-long hiatus, I looked it up. I Googled the words I could remember, and immediately couldn’t believe that it has the word wino right there in the title. Come on. I half expected the photo on the cover of the single to have a dude with two teeth blowing on a jug marked with three X’s. Then as I listened to it again through (somewhat) experienced 32-year-old ears, I had a hard time coming to terms with it being a real song, not a jokey Ray Stevens (heard a lot of his stuff growing up, too) thing. I mean, someone wrote the line “I’m gonna hire a wino to decorate our home” and meant it sincerely; this isn’t a jam from some country version of Weird Al or anything. Also, it’s not unusual for a country song to be about drankin’, but the woman in this ditty is basically encouraging her husband’s alcoholism, and enthusiastically so! It’s not like, “Hey honey, you drink far too much and I’m worried about you, so how about you pull back a little?” but “Dear, you go out and get stupid drunk literally every single night, so what I’m going to do is make it easier for you to do so right here! And you can even pretend to molest me like you do the poor bartender at your usual dive!”